學習成為動物
- Feb 22, 2025
- 11 min read
Updated: Feb 22, 2025
Joe Pilates
Learning to be an Animal
There is a happy band of people, of which I am an aspirant member, who are distinguishable anywhere by their springy step and "saved" look from the mass of their contemporaries who shuffle and shamble in untidy corpulence around us. We know that we are saved because we faithfully attend exhausting but exhilarating sessions at the Joseph H. Pilates Universal Gymnasium on Eighth Avenue in midtown Manhattan.
For it is here that Joe Pilates, a white-thatched red-cheeked octogenarian, his wife Clara and Hannah (who came in for a lesson 25 years ago and stayed on) bark their stern commands as we twist and stretch and complain through the exercises forming the core of what Joe, with his Germanic taste for scientific nomenclature, calls Contrology.
Don't ask me what Contrology is. Don't ask Joe either, for orderly exposition is not one of his talents. It has something to do with rational tension and relaxation of the muscles, and it comes from a profound knowledge of bodily kinetics begun three quarters of a century ago when Joe as a child in Germany began observing his fellow children at play and animals bounding through the forest. Later, when he was making a living as a boxer and a circus tumbler he began developing a series of exercises to relax him after an exhausting day.
The full principles of Contrology were revealed to him during World War I. His circus was caught traveling in England when the war broke out in 1914, and Joe and all the others were interned in an abandoned hospital on the Isle of Man. Here, as weeks lengthened into months and years, he watched his fellow-prisoners sink into apathy and despair, with nothing to do but stare at the bare crumbling walls of their prison, nothing to break the daily monotony but the inadequate meals (for the German submarine blockade was slowly starving England) and an occasional walk around the bare courtyard with nothing to look at but an occasional starveling cat streaking after a mouse or a bird.
It was the cats which did it. For though they were nothing but skin and bones - even the most animal-loving prisoners could hardly spare them anything from their own pitiful rations when their own children were begging to be fed - they were lithe and springy and terribly efficient as they aimed for their prey. Why were the cats in such good shape, so bright-eyed, while the humans were growing every day paler, weaker, apathetic creatures ready to give up if they caught a cold or fell down and sprained an ankle? The answer came to Joe when he began carefully observing the cats and analyzing their motions for hours at a time. He saw them, when they had nothing else to do, stretching their legs out, stretching, stretching, keeping their muscles limber, alive. He began working out an orderly series of exercises to stretch the human muscles, all the human muscles. He began demonstrating these exercises to the dejected figures around him, and since they had nothing else to do, they began to do the exercises too. Awkwardly and timorously at first, but under his firm supervision they became more and more confident, more and more bouncy, like cats. They ended the war in better shape than when it started, and when the great influenza epidemic came sweeping over all the countries that had fought in the war, not one of them came down with it.
Once free, he came to America because that is the place to be when you have a new idea. He designed and built machines for carefully graduated stretching exercises, he rented a loft, he opened his Universal Gymnasium, up the street from Stillman's Gym, an institution built to other specifications. Little by little the word got around, people began coming in, people from professions which demand complete and precise control of the whole body, ballet dancers, opera singers, Laurence Olivier, Yehudi Menuhin.
When I came to join this band, he greeted me as he did everybody else. He lay down on his eighty-ear-old back and commanded, "Step on me." I hesitated. "Don't be afraid," he said. "STEP!" Gingerly I put one foot on his belly, one on his chest. "You see," he said. "It's easy."
Later I stood before him in the mandatory black trunks and he poked a scornful finger into my poor bare flesh.
"Typical," he said in ringing Teutonic tones. "Just like all of them! Americans! They want to go 600 miles an hour, and they don't know how to walk! Look at them in the street. Bent over!. Coughing! Young men with gray faces! Why can't they look at the animals? Look at a cat. Look at any animal. The only animal that doesn't hold its stomach in is the pig. Look at them all out on the sidewalk now, like pigs.
"By exercising your stomach muscles you wring out the body, you don't catch colds, you don't get cancer, you don't get hernias. Do animals get hernias? Do animals go on diets? Eat what you want, drink what you want. I drink a quart of liquor a day, plus some beers, and smoke maybe fifteen cigars.
"And what do Americans do? They play golf, they play baseball, they use half of their muscles, a quarter of their muscles. They get fat, they go jogging, they go on crazy diets, they jump up and down in crazy exercises, they have bad backs, they have beer bellies, they slouch, they complain, they have hernias.
"So, you want to learn how to do better. It's all up here, in the head. Lie down on the mat. Don't flop down, go down smoothly, like this, cross the arms, cross the legs. Now, legs in the air! Grab your ankles! Of course you can't reach them, no American can. All right, grab your calves. Make it your knees. Straight the knees! Bend forward! Now reach! No, you have to think first! Think! Up!"
It may take months to learn exactly which straining set of muscles and tendons is the object of that Up!
In the meanwhile, the neophyte is ever under someone's scornful eyes or encouraging grunts, learning the Pilates ropes - the varieties of pulls, twists, bends, crouches which he says use 25 percent more muscles than circus acrobatics and fifty or seventyfive percent more than baseball (pfui!) or golf (double-pfui!), No jumping or running, which put unnecessary strain on the heart; in fact, almost everything is done flat on your back or your stomach. No weights ("Do animals lift weights?") No bulging biceps.- Joe is more interested in muscles that will hold you up up than those that will let you knock another fellow down.
The exercises are graduated and have whimsical names: the Teaser, the Forward Rocking, the Saw, the Hanging.
Looking down from the walls of the gym are paintings, photographs sculptures of Joe, naked or loinclothed: spearfishing at 56, representing the Spirit of Air on the floor of the Nebraska state capitol at 60, skiing at 78. There are also photographs with admiring testimonials ("To the greatest,""to the one and immortal Joe"from distinguished alumni, and photostats of articles from American newspapers documenting the horrors of American posture. Through sweat-filled eyes, as you are upside down on one machine, you might see a famous publisher or producer or anchorperson bent double on another. They are all receiving the full lash of Pilatean philosophy.
"Its' the stiffness. You must open up the chest more, two inches more. Up! NO! With this muscle" poking a protuberance about his midriff which will never rise on you or me - "straight the knees! Where are you going - like an elephant?"
"Oh Joe," wails a famous ballerina. "Now you're calling me an elephant."
"I wouldn't insult the elephant. An elephant could walk into this room, and you wouldn't hear it. An elephant walks delicately. But you - clump, clump, CLUMP! Americans! Baseball players! Joggers! Weight-lifters! No wonder they come to me with arthritis! Ulcers! Animals don't have ulcers! Animals don't go on diets! Straight the knees! Out the air!"
So the minutes pass -- flipping and wriggling through the Corkscrew, the Jackknife, the Seal. It's not cheap ($5 a session, which lasts about 45 minutes) but as you go your two or three times a week, the weeks become months, and the abuse becomes scattered with a few congratulatory murmurs. Kindly Clara will admire you new sleekness, gruff Hannah will say, "Well, about time." Perhaps your head is a little higher in the street, above all the young gray faces. Aches and twinges disappear. A day comes when you are able to swing your ankles neatly into two loops hanging down from a bar way up there, stretch your body, get a firm grip on two upright poles - and climb up. You reach the top with grunts of pleasure and suddenly whoop in terror, "How do I get down?" "The same way you got up." Down you come, hand under hand, with gasps and moans and a final yell of triumph. In the hush that follows, Joe bellows out his final accolade: "Now you are an animal"
©1962 Robert Wernick
Sports Illustrated, February 12, 1962
Joe Pilates would have been in his 120's today (June 22, 2003) if he had not died of smoke inhalation when his house caught on fire, and nothing in the intervening years would have caused him to change his philosophy.
喬普拉提
學習成為動物
有一群快樂的人，我也是其中的一名渴望者，他們無論在哪裡都可以通過輕快的步伐和“得救”的外表，與我們周圍那些拖著腳步、蹣跚而行、衣冠不整的肥胖同齡人區分開來。我們知道我們得救了，因為我們忠實地參加在曼哈頓中城第八大道的約瑟夫·H·普拉提環球健身房舉行的雖然令人筋疲力盡但令人興奮的課程。
因為正是在這裡，喬·普拉提，一位白髮蒼蒼、紅臉蛋的八十多歲老人，和他的妻子克拉拉以及漢娜（25 年前來上過一堂課，之後就留了下來）在我們扭動、伸展和抱怨的過程中大聲發出嚴厲的命令，這些練習構成了喬所說的控制學的核心，憑藉他德國式的科學術語。
不要問我控制論是什麼。也不要問喬，因為有秩序的闡述不是他的才能之一。它與肌肉的合理緊張和放鬆有關，它源於對身體運動學的深刻了解，這種了解始於四分之三個世紀前，當時還是德國孩子的喬開始觀察他的同伴玩耍和動物在森林中跳躍。後來，當他以拳擊手和馬戲團翻滾演員的身份謀生時，他開始開發一系列的鍛煉方法，以使自己在勞累了一天後放鬆下來。
第一次世界大戰期間，喬了解到了控制學的全部原理 。在這裡，隨著時間的流逝，監獄的囚犯們逐漸陷入了冷漠和絕望，他們無事可做，只能盯著監獄裡光禿禿的、搖搖欲墜的牆壁，除了吃不飽飯（因為德國的潛艇封鎖正在慢慢地讓英國陷入飢餓）和偶爾在空蕩蕩的院子裡走走，再也沒有什麼可以打破日常的單調，除了偶爾看到一隻老鼠或什麼。
這是貓幹的。儘管他們瘦得皮包骨，當他們自己的孩子乞求食物時，就連最愛護動物的囚犯也幾乎不會從自己可憐的口糧中給他們一點食物，但他們卻身手敏捷，彈性十足，在瞄準獵物時非常高效。為什麼貓咪的體魄這麼好，眼睛這麼明亮，而人類卻一天比一天蒼白，虛弱，變得麻木不仁，一著涼或者摔倒扭傷腳踝就放棄呢？當喬開始仔細觀察貓並連續數小時分析它們的動作時，他找到了答案。他看見他們，當沒別的事可做的時候，就伸開腿，伸，伸，保持肌肉的柔軟和活力。他開始進行一系列有秩序的運動來拉伸人體肌肉，所有人體肌肉。他開始向周圍垂頭喪氣的人示範這些功法，由於他們沒有其他事情可做，於是也開始做功法。一開始，它們有些笨拙和膽怯，但在他的嚴格監督下，它們變得越來越自信，越來越活潑，就像貓一樣。
他們以比戰爭開始時更好的狀態結束了戰爭，當流感大流行席捲所有參與戰爭的國家時，沒有一個國家受到感染。
獲得自由後，他來到了美國，因為當你有了新想法時，那裡是一個值得去的地方。他設計並製造了用於進行精細分級的伸展運動的機器，他租了一間閣樓，他在斯蒂爾曼健身房 (Stillman's Gym) 的街上開設了自己的通用健身房，而斯蒂爾曼健身房是一所按照其他規格建造的機構。消息漸漸傳開了，人們開始加入進來，這些人來自需要對整個身體進行完整而精確控制的職業，如芭蕾舞者、歌劇演唱家、勞倫斯·奧利維爾、耶胡迪·梅紐因。
當我加入這個樂團時，他像迎接其他人一樣迎接我。他躺下，仰躺著，命令道：“踩在我身上。”我猶豫了。 「別害怕，」他說。 “步！”我小心翼翼地把一隻腳放在他的腹部，另一隻腳放在他的胸口。 「你看，」他說。 “很簡單。”
後來，我穿著強制性的黑色短褲站在他面前，他輕蔑地用手指戳了戳我可憐的裸露皮膚。
「很典型，」他用響亮的日耳曼口音說道。 「就像他們所有人一樣！美國人！他們想以每小時 600 英里的速度行駛，但他們不知道如何行走！看看街上的他們。彎腰駝背！咳嗽！臉色灰白的年輕人！為什麼他們不能看看動物？看看貓。看看任何動物。唯一不把肚子縮起來的動物是豬。看看現在人行道上的他們，像豬一樣。
「透過鍛鍊腹肌，你可以讓身體得到充分的鍛煉，這樣你就不會感冒，不會得癌症，也不會得疝氣。動物會得疝氣嗎？動物會節食嗎？想吃什麼就吃什麼，想喝什麼就喝什麼。我每天喝一夸脫烈酒，再喝幾瓶啤酒，抽十五根雪茄。
「那麼美國人做什麼呢？他們打高爾夫球，打棒球，他們只使用一半或四分之一的肌肉。他們變胖，他們慢跑，他們瘋狂節食，他們瘋狂地跳上跳下地鍛煉，他們有背痛，有啤酒肚，他們彎腰駝背，他們抱怨，他們有疝氣。
「所以，你想學習如何做得更好。一切都在這裡，在頭腦裡。躺在墊子上。不要撲通一聲倒下，平穩地躺下，像這樣，交叉雙臂，交叉雙腿。現在，雙腿在空中！抓住你的腳踝！當然你夠不到它們，沒有美國人能做到。好吧，抓住你的小腿。抓住你的膝蓋。伸直！
可能需要花費數月的時間才能確切了解哪一組肌肉和肌腱拉傷是動作的對象！
同時，新手總是處於某些人輕蔑的目光或鼓勵的咕噥聲之下，學習普拉提繩索 - 各種拉、扭、彎、蹲下的動作，他說這些動作比馬戲團雜技多用 25% 的肌肉，比棒球（呸！）或高爾夫（雙重事實上，幾乎一切動作都是平躺或俯臥進行的。沒有重量（「動物會舉重嗎？」）沒有凸起的二頭肌。
這些練習是分級的，並有奇特的名字：逗弄式練習、前搖式練習、鋸式練習、懸掛式練習。
從健身房的牆上往下看，有喬的繪畫、照片和雕塑，裸體或裹著腰布：56 歲時，他在魚叉捕魚；60 歲時，他在內布拉斯加州議會大廈的地板上象徵著空氣之靈；78 歲時，他在滑雪。盈的眼睛，你可能會看到一位著名的出版商、製片人或主持人在另一台機器上彎著腰。
「是僵硬。你必須再打開胸腔，再打開兩英寸。起來！不！用這塊肌肉，」他戳著腹部一個永遠不會在你我身上凸起的凸起——“伸直膝蓋！你要去哪裡——像大像一樣？”
「哦，喬，」一位著名的芭蕾舞者哀嘆道。 “現在你叫我大象。”
「我不會侮辱大象。大象可以走進這個房間，你不會聽到。大像走路很輕巧。但是你—— 笨拙，笨拙，笨拙！美國人！棒球運動員！慢跑者！舉重運動員！難怪他們來找我，說他們有關節炎！潰瘍！動物沒有潰瘍！動物不節食！伸直膝蓋！呼出空氣！」
時間就這麼過去了——在螺旋式、折刀式和封條式中翻轉和蠕動。它並不便宜（每次 5 美元，持續約 45 分鐘），但隨著你每週進行兩到三次，幾週就變成了幾個月，虐待行為也隨之消失，只剩下幾聲祝賀的低語。善良的克拉拉會羨慕你的新時尚，而粗魯的漢娜會說，“好吧，是時候了。”或許你的頭在街上更高一些，高於所有年輕的灰白面孔。疼痛和刺痛消失。
有一天，你可以靈活地將腳踝擺動到高處懸掛的兩個環中，伸展身體，牢牢抓住兩根直立的桿子，然後爬上去。你高興地發出呼嚕聲，到達頂峰，然後突然驚恐地大叫：“我怎麼下來？” “跟你起床時一樣。”你們手牽手，倒下，喘著氣，呻吟著，最後發出勝利的吶喊。在隨後的寂靜中，喬大聲宣布了他最後的讚譽：“現在你是一隻動物”
©1962 羅伯特‧韋尼克
體育畫報， 1962 年 2 月 12 日
如果喬·普拉提沒有因房屋著火而吸入濃煙而死亡，那麼他今天（2003 年 6 月 22 日）就 120 多歲了，而且這些年來發生的任何事情也沒有導致他改變自己的理念。
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